My ringing cell phone snatched my attention. Looking at the clock before opening it, I sighed.
"Shit! I know I'm late Camille. I'll pick you up in two minutes."
"Jenna, we can't afford to be late to this gig. It's the biggest one of the year."
"Right. I'm there," I offered lamely while looking in the mirror. Tonight I was an Indian belly dancer, escaped from the harem. My hair was wound tightly in a bun on top of my head. The gold chandeliers cascading from my earlobes were hollow and nearly weightless, but for their sheer size. I looked like I had stepped into an "I Dream of Jeanie" costume--except the chest hugging top was cut higher on the bottom and lower on top, and the billowy bottoms began at the crest of my butt cleavage. That, and Jeanie never wore four inch stilettos. The shoes made me a towering 6'3", but they also made my legs look like they went for miles. My eye make-up would've made Cleopatra blush. Damn I looked good.
I threw the translucent mask into my purse along with the pound and a half of gold bracelets I would put on before going in. I donned my extra-long black coat. So what if it was late in the season? You always need a jacket in Utah.
Heidi tossed an automatic, "Have fun..." my way, never taking her eyes from the screen of her laptop. I took the stairs as quickly and carefully as my shoes would allow. Waiting for Gretta to warm up, I flexed and pointed my feet in the shoes working the definition of my calves. When I arrived at Camille's she and Alisa came out before I could honk. Camille the run-of-the-mill Playboy Bunny and Alisa dressed to the nines as a business professional.
Camille handed me the directions as she and Alisa made themselves comfortable in the car.
"This is outside?!" I questioned in shock, reading the map.
"Yup."
"I'll freeze! You can practically see through this top as it is, now they'll see everything!"
"Meh, makes for better tips," Camille flipped down the passenger-side visor to check her lipstick, while Alisa muffled her wayward giggle. I shook my head, turned off the dome light and drove toward the mouth of the canyon.
Wednesday, March 30
Monday, March 21
Jenna Has An Epiphany
Why the hell am I here? Celtic group my ass. They play Celtic music, that does not make them Celtic. Truth be told, I avoid most public places these days. This fool lady is talking about "voices" coming from the drum. Aubrei--the girl sitting next to me--said,
"I must not've drank enough before coming to class."
UGH! This music is SO depressing! It reminds me of Last of the Mohicans when the lady jumps off the cliff. I always liked that movie...
Is there a reason I'm here? C'mon God, you are a merciful loving Father in Heaven, right? So why? Why am I here now? Is there something I'm supposed to learn from this miserable experience?
Aubrei just said this reminds her of Titanic. I feel like that. I am on this ship that's hit an iceberg. Surprisingly, it isn't sinking fast, but very, very slowly. So slowly I almost question it's inevitable fate. One thing I know for sure, I am suffocating already. If I don't get off soon I'll drown.
Screw this concert. I need air...
"I must not've drank enough before coming to class."
UGH! This music is SO depressing! It reminds me of Last of the Mohicans when the lady jumps off the cliff. I always liked that movie...
Is there a reason I'm here? C'mon God, you are a merciful loving Father in Heaven, right? So why? Why am I here now? Is there something I'm supposed to learn from this miserable experience?
Aubrei just said this reminds her of Titanic. I feel like that. I am on this ship that's hit an iceberg. Surprisingly, it isn't sinking fast, but very, very slowly. So slowly I almost question it's inevitable fate. One thing I know for sure, I am suffocating already. If I don't get off soon I'll drown.
Screw this concert. I need air...
Sunday, March 20
The Purpose and People of the Grand Experiment
First and foremost, I would like to maintain that I REALLY think we should call it "BYU's Illegitimate Child." Thank you. ;)
That said, I believe Our Grand Experiment is about the hierarchy of society and the culture at a rural, Utah college. Particularly, the influence of the dominant religion on each of the student's lives. The driving point seems to be the rebellion, the clinging to, or the utter disdain for this cultish entity that is completely separate from the actual theology of the church, but is so rigidly maintained by the people in it.
As for who this novel is about, the characters that seem to embody what I believe this novel to be about would have to be Michael, Sabrina, Todd, Gill, John, Nikki, and Jenna (of course I included my own character--DUH! :P).
I think what this novel says, is that despite the social pressures and the ingrained doctrines, people are still free to choose their paths. Some have the gumption to do so, while others, well, drop balls. But the point is that through experience, trial, and error the characters are capable of becoming more well-rounded individuals. To illustrate my point, let us take a scene from Chelsea's life:
Chelsea met a boy named Jacob on the internet (GASP!!!). She talked to him nearly every day on her instant messenger. He called her at least twice a week. This carried on from the end of August until the beginning of December. Because the relationship had evolved, they decided to meet. However, Jacob conveniently missed each of the meetings. Then Chelsea found out Jacob was hiding her from his family because his mother did not approve. Jacob was 22. Last time Chelsea checked, the iron clad apron strings were still firmly tied around his neck.
While it is sad, it is also true. In fact, Jacob's mother became so upset that he was contacting me he had to buy his own cell phone because she did not approve of him talking to a girl he had met online (insert sarcastic eye-roll here). For a long time all she knew was my name and that he frequently talked to me. The moral of this story is that at the age of 22, Jacob should be able to choose for himself what he wants to do. Because he didn't have the kahunas to stand up to his mother, we haven't spoken in over three months. Bravo, Mom. Bravo. Your son is a spineless, mindless jellyfish who can't do anything without your say-so. That is what I call a productive, well-adjusted member of society...(again, insert sarcastic eye-roll here).
That said, I believe Our Grand Experiment is about the hierarchy of society and the culture at a rural, Utah college. Particularly, the influence of the dominant religion on each of the student's lives. The driving point seems to be the rebellion, the clinging to, or the utter disdain for this cultish entity that is completely separate from the actual theology of the church, but is so rigidly maintained by the people in it.
As for who this novel is about, the characters that seem to embody what I believe this novel to be about would have to be Michael, Sabrina, Todd, Gill, John, Nikki, and Jenna (of course I included my own character--DUH! :P).
I think what this novel says, is that despite the social pressures and the ingrained doctrines, people are still free to choose their paths. Some have the gumption to do so, while others, well, drop balls. But the point is that through experience, trial, and error the characters are capable of becoming more well-rounded individuals. To illustrate my point, let us take a scene from Chelsea's life:
Chelsea met a boy named Jacob on the internet (GASP!!!). She talked to him nearly every day on her instant messenger. He called her at least twice a week. This carried on from the end of August until the beginning of December. Because the relationship had evolved, they decided to meet. However, Jacob conveniently missed each of the meetings. Then Chelsea found out Jacob was hiding her from his family because his mother did not approve. Jacob was 22. Last time Chelsea checked, the iron clad apron strings were still firmly tied around his neck.
While it is sad, it is also true. In fact, Jacob's mother became so upset that he was contacting me he had to buy his own cell phone because she did not approve of him talking to a girl he had met online (insert sarcastic eye-roll here). For a long time all she knew was my name and that he frequently talked to me. The moral of this story is that at the age of 22, Jacob should be able to choose for himself what he wants to do. Because he didn't have the kahunas to stand up to his mother, we haven't spoken in over three months. Bravo, Mom. Bravo. Your son is a spineless, mindless jellyfish who can't do anything without your say-so. That is what I call a productive, well-adjusted member of society...(again, insert sarcastic eye-roll here).
The point of this little drama--trust me, there is one--is that in our novel, the people whose parents were over-bearing, over-protective, and ultra-conservative have created offspring who cannot think for themselves, who are incapable of decision making, and who follow blindly because they don't know how to see. When these people are sent to college where they are forced to make decisions, they either thrive or fail. That is what our novel is saying.
Saturday, March 12
Getting to Know Jenna
If you need anymore information on any of these questions just ask!
1. Name on your birth certificate: Jenna Marie Janes
2. Nicknames: Dolly (but only my grandmother calls me this)
3. Piercing/tattoos: Ears pierced. I wear a clip-on on my stomach for work, I'm considering just getting one.
4. Eye color: Blue/Green (depends on what I wear)
5. Hair Color: Dark brown
6. Place of birth: Cedar City, UT
7. Favorite food: Chinese
8. Ever been to Africa? Someday...
9. Ever been to Europe? (See previous answer)
10. Hawaii or Mexico? I've been to Mexico (Tijuana and Ensenada), I think Hawaii is overrated.
11. Love someone so much it made you cry? Only once...dumb bastard.
12. Been in a car accident? Just one and everybody was fine
13. Croutons or bacon bits: Bacon bits
14. Favorite day of the week: Tuesday, because I don't have Physics
15. Favorite restaurant: Brad's Food Hut
16. Favorite flower: Starburst Lilies
17. Favorite sports to watch: Why watch when I can play???
18. Favorite hot drink: Hot Chocolate with Vanilla and Hazelnut creamers
19. Favorite ice cream: Double Fudge Brownie (by Dreyers)
20. Disney or Warner Brothers: What can I say? I love Beauty and the Beast...
21. Favorite Fast Food: Wendy's
22. Color of bedroom carpet: Emerald berber with flecks of peach and rose (ie, UGLY)
23. How many times did you fail a drivers test: None :)
24. Name a tragic event from your life: When my dog Mitzi of 13 years died.
25. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Barnes and Noble
26. What do you do when you're bored? I wish I had time to be bored!
27. What time is bedtime? Usually 10:30 on weekdays. Weekends go from 2-4am.
28. What is your most interesting scar? The one on my wrist from cutting it on a broken cookie jar as a toddler.
29. Did you have a childhood pet? If so, what was it? I had a miniature schnauzer named Butch (who died). A Blue Heeler named Buff (who ran away). And another miniature schnauzer named Mitzi (who just died in August of complications from diabetes). I also had a little neon fish I named Shark who tragically died when I finally cleaned the bowl.
30. Favorite TV shows? Law and Order and Monk
31. Ford or Chevy? Dyed in the wool, true blue through and through a Chevy girl.
32. Last person you went to dinner with? My sister Natalie and niece Lily
33. What are you listening to right now? Band called Mest, song "Chelsea"
34. What is your favorite color? Green
35. Lake, ocean or river? Lake (I have a phobia of sharks...)
36. How old are you? 20
1. Name on your birth certificate: Jenna Marie Janes
2. Nicknames: Dolly (but only my grandmother calls me this)
3. Piercing/tattoos: Ears pierced. I wear a clip-on on my stomach for work, I'm considering just getting one.
4. Eye color: Blue/Green (depends on what I wear)
5. Hair Color: Dark brown
6. Place of birth: Cedar City, UT
7. Favorite food: Chinese
8. Ever been to Africa? Someday...
9. Ever been to Europe? (See previous answer)
10. Hawaii or Mexico? I've been to Mexico (Tijuana and Ensenada), I think Hawaii is overrated.
11. Love someone so much it made you cry? Only once...dumb bastard.
12. Been in a car accident? Just one and everybody was fine
13. Croutons or bacon bits: Bacon bits
14. Favorite day of the week: Tuesday, because I don't have Physics
15. Favorite restaurant: Brad's Food Hut
16. Favorite flower: Starburst Lilies
17. Favorite sports to watch: Why watch when I can play???
18. Favorite hot drink: Hot Chocolate with Vanilla and Hazelnut creamers
19. Favorite ice cream: Double Fudge Brownie (by Dreyers)
20. Disney or Warner Brothers: What can I say? I love Beauty and the Beast...
21. Favorite Fast Food: Wendy's
22. Color of bedroom carpet: Emerald berber with flecks of peach and rose (ie, UGLY)
23. How many times did you fail a drivers test: None :)
24. Name a tragic event from your life: When my dog Mitzi of 13 years died.
25. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Barnes and Noble
26. What do you do when you're bored? I wish I had time to be bored!
27. What time is bedtime? Usually 10:30 on weekdays. Weekends go from 2-4am.
28. What is your most interesting scar? The one on my wrist from cutting it on a broken cookie jar as a toddler.
29. Did you have a childhood pet? If so, what was it? I had a miniature schnauzer named Butch (who died). A Blue Heeler named Buff (who ran away). And another miniature schnauzer named Mitzi (who just died in August of complications from diabetes). I also had a little neon fish I named Shark who tragically died when I finally cleaned the bowl.
30. Favorite TV shows? Law and Order and Monk
31. Ford or Chevy? Dyed in the wool, true blue through and through a Chevy girl.
32. Last person you went to dinner with? My sister Natalie and niece Lily
33. What are you listening to right now? Band called Mest, song "Chelsea"
34. What is your favorite color? Green
35. Lake, ocean or river? Lake (I have a phobia of sharks...)
36. How old are you? 20
Friday, March 11
Jenna Talks to Michael
"Just come up to Beckie's office with me now and we can check on the TV assignment," I told Michael, my back to him as I erased the whiteboard and gathered my books.
"OK."
As we turned the corner to go up the stairs, we couldn't help but notice a guy on his cell phone. DTRs were never a good thing to have on the phone, especially in public places. I slyly listened in on what he was saying.
"Stacey, that is not what I said...NO! You're twisting my wor--" he stopped walking and clenched his fist in frustration. "Mmhmm...Yeah...OK..." He turned the mouthpiece away as he sighed heavily. Rolling his eyes and nodding his head he finished the conversation. "I love you, too. See you tonight." Michael and I continued past. I thought I heard the guy mumble some profane name or another under his breath. As we came to the top of the stairs, I spoke without thinking, the words tumbled out of my mouth.
"Don't you ever feel like you wear a mask? That it's easier to pretend to be the person people think you are rather than act how you really feel?"
"Every damn minute of my life."
Michael's immediate and hearty agreement with my statement set me to thinking. What did he have to hide? So I decided to do what I do best. Dig.
"I think everybody is hiding something; even if it is for the sake of having something to hide," I carefully baited.
"I think people hide for survival. If people knew their secrets they would be socially murdered."
"Ever feel suicidal?" I half-played. He didn't speak, but his answer shouted from his slight grunt, the barely-perceptible nodding of his head, and the faint smile of recognition that played across his lips.
"Me too," my response startled him.
"What could you possibly have to hide? You're like Miss Perfect. Your boss loves you, you get good grades, you don't live in a hole...people actually like you. You have everything," he practically snapped.
"People who have everything have it all to lose. Especially when they have secrets. Secrets that would change everything everybody knew about them," my tone was icier than I intended. How could this schmuck possibly understand what I was going through? He wasn't the one living a double life. He wasn't going against every value and moral his parents had drilled into him. But the worst part was, he wasn't doing it and not feeling bad about it.
"OK."
As we turned the corner to go up the stairs, we couldn't help but notice a guy on his cell phone. DTRs were never a good thing to have on the phone, especially in public places. I slyly listened in on what he was saying.
"Stacey, that is not what I said...NO! You're twisting my wor--" he stopped walking and clenched his fist in frustration. "Mmhmm...Yeah...OK..." He turned the mouthpiece away as he sighed heavily. Rolling his eyes and nodding his head he finished the conversation. "I love you, too. See you tonight." Michael and I continued past. I thought I heard the guy mumble some profane name or another under his breath. As we came to the top of the stairs, I spoke without thinking, the words tumbled out of my mouth.
"Don't you ever feel like you wear a mask? That it's easier to pretend to be the person people think you are rather than act how you really feel?"
"Every damn minute of my life."
Michael's immediate and hearty agreement with my statement set me to thinking. What did he have to hide? So I decided to do what I do best. Dig.
"I think everybody is hiding something; even if it is for the sake of having something to hide," I carefully baited.
"I think people hide for survival. If people knew their secrets they would be socially murdered."
"Ever feel suicidal?" I half-played. He didn't speak, but his answer shouted from his slight grunt, the barely-perceptible nodding of his head, and the faint smile of recognition that played across his lips.
"Me too," my response startled him.
"What could you possibly have to hide? You're like Miss Perfect. Your boss loves you, you get good grades, you don't live in a hole...people actually like you. You have everything," he practically snapped.
"People who have everything have it all to lose. Especially when they have secrets. Secrets that would change everything everybody knew about them," my tone was icier than I intended. How could this schmuck possibly understand what I was going through? He wasn't the one living a double life. He wasn't going against every value and moral his parents had drilled into him. But the worst part was, he wasn't doing it and not feeling bad about it.
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